WOW

I do but i don't! Tonight was amazing. I got so angry with people but at the same time i was happy. it was so weird. i love i hate i admire i despise. i just really dont get it. but regardless i am smitten.

I am done...

That's it...I am just done with it. I can't! I won't! I refuse to deal with it!

New situations...old philosophies

Be warned that as I type this post I really have know idea what to write about but I just feel the need to write. Writing in my blog is very theraputic for me. I know that lots of people don't read it and the people that used to probably don't check it regulary anymore because of my long hiatus but I don't care.

I was moving my blog over to the new blogger beta today and in the process started looking at some of my old posts. I found this one http://mlditty.blogspot.com/2005/06/pain-of-friendship.html that has some meaning in my life right now. And I have a few people that need to read this old post.

After reading that and thinking over my life as of late I realize that it is hard being friends with people (worth it but hard nonetheless). It is hard because those people in your life that you let get close to you can hurt you the most and not even in the most obvious ways. I normally don't get caught up in the drama in my life (Frankly because I do not have very much) I always seem to get caught up in the drama of everyone else's life. Like that previous post said watching people can be the most difficult sometimes. The sad thing is that all I can do is watch and then allow them to make their own decisions.

It is like watching a cheap Daytime Soap Opera! It makes me sick to see this in my friends lives and in turn, through association, my life.

I need to teach some people...

SO apparently I need to teach some people the difference between nice and just plain stupid.

Some people...

On a different note not necessarily related to me...

Why is it that some people have issues understanding how reality works? I mean I don't claim to have any special powers (Ok maybe once in awhile I do, but that is beside the point) nor do I think I am a super genius (Regular genius is just fine with me) but at least I can understand a few common place things about the universe.

For some people reality is subjective.

I had more to write and infact several paragraphs have been edited out but I have decided to just keep my mouth shut and let people decided and deal with their own realities.

So many things...

So I know that I have not been exactly reliable in the whole posting to the blog thing....BUT here goes anyway.

There are so many things that have changed in my life since the last time i wrote that I am just going to breeze through a few to catch up.

I moved and no longer live in my own home.

I moved in with Daniel and another roommate (not so bad...most of the time).

Job is great still great, magnificant, stressfully blissful, amazing, crazy, new, exciting, etc.

I am looking for new places to live and new options.

I realize that I miss old friends.

I realize that I am getting old when my cousin who i can remember walking around holding her satin nightgown like a security blanket sucking her thumb is getting married. I have to go to her wedding in a few days. It is going to be nice seeing family but it also kinda depresses me a little. Oh well such is life.

But on the bright side I am in a good place in my life right now. I feel much better about things and I am on such a great plane right now. More about when i get a chance...

Wow...

I just don't see how some people do it...I really do not!

I try and I try but I just can't seem to myself...

C'est la vie